I will.

My body is tired, my brain hurts but my heart keeps going. I have come to the conclusion that this is exactly how a teacher feels everyday. It goes far beyond Philadelphia Institute. It goes far beyond the 9-5 work week. Every day, a teacher keeps going not because of the energy they can sustain, but the passion in their hearts. At least that is what keeps me going each day. 

Khadeem is going down hill quickly. He doesn't pay attention anymore. He just disrupts the class. My first instinct is to punish him, but that doesn't have any effect. Khadeem acts out because he is struggling. 

I had a bad attitude at school today. I was tired, unfocused and all over the place. I didn't pay attention or contribute productively today but not intentionally. My behavior affected my actions at school today. I see Khadeem to be in the same boat. He is just trying to process his struggles outside of school, and sometimes if he doesn't get it all figured out they mix together. 

I think about the grace I ask from my colleagues and advisors on days like these. Shouldn't I give the same grace to Khadeem? I need too. 

I look at these children and see their stories. Dianaliz, Dominick, Angel, Juan, Josue, Celeste, Regina; each of them have a story. Each of them have struggles and obstacles to overcome. For the past four weeks we have been so focused on achievement, forgetting that as humans we are all just trying to make it. Sometimes I forget, as a teacher, that my students are dealing with life outside my classroom. Just as I am human, I am dealing outside of it all too. 

Khadeem is so smart! He can be whatever he wants to be! Call that idealism, or absurd. I call it God's plan. He can do anything, even our impossible! If Khadeem wants to be president, he can! It is just a matter of him getting his heart in line and fighting through the tough stuff, coming upon the beautiful oasis of God's greatness. 

And I am beginning to realize the same applies to me also. I need to keep my eyes on that oasis instead of getting bogged down in the struggle right in front of me. I need to remember that same idealism, knowing God can do anything with me if I let him. 

Khadeem may not meet the goals for this summer, and that doesn't mean his journey is over. It just means that through failure God will lift him up. It means that he needs to get back up and try again. It means he needs to keep his heart on the prize, knowing God will get him there. And I need to take my own advice. Even if my body is tired, brain hurts and I feel so incapable. 

I can and I will. 

Prayer for: good health

prespective

perseverance.